Journal Issue #03

02152022 23:15

Where do people get their ideas ? Do they just appear like magic ? Or is it just a constant building on failed innovations until , poof! You get a winning idea.

I have been living my life mostly through trial and error. Trying things , failing or quitting and moving on to the next thing. It’s annoying that my life is this way. I want to just have that one thing I know I’m passionate about and just do it. But I don’t know what that thing is.

Everything I think I want to do I end up failing. And the stuff that probably could be right for me I can’t afford to take on.

How does a person find that spark of innovation? Is it the innate feeling they’ve had since they were a child? You know the one , child’s family are fire fighters and police officers so it’s highly likely that child will also go that route. But what do you do when you grow up poor ? What do you do when you have no role models ?

It’s tough. Really is , how does one person find that passion when they grew up with nothing to be passionate about ?

Society tells us that are lives are linear. We go to school until our mid to late 20’s (career dependent) , then we get out of school with a bunch of book smarts and step out into the working life with a piece of paper worth more money based on the time wasted to achieve it. I just don’t understand.

A few days ago I reached my second sale, a day later I was let go. Apparently I didn’t take to coaching as well as they would like and one month in I was underperforming. It’s quite annoying and stressful when you are giving it %110 and you get let go without any warnings. That was probably the worst part , I hop on a meeting call expecting it to be me and my manager it wasn’t, it was also her manager and HR. Like I was being ambushed.

So I have learned that sales , as much as I love the work of convincing people, commissions may not be for me. However I am not a push over and I don’t want to give up on my self.

Now the hard part is figuring out what’s next. Going with the flow of life and having no superior goals isn’t ideal. The hard part is not just getting a goal it’s also figuring out how to believe in it , how to believe in myself when I have been having the worst luck the pst 15 years of my life.

Some how the lord is still on my side , and it’s good cause I’m gonna need him now more than ever.

Have a blessed day world.

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